oooh you're my best friend.

i haven't been on here for ten days... i just don't have much to say. Well, for one i'm glad that laura and kali came over last weekend. i finally had some one to hang out with after like a month. I kinda just want to hang out with katie because sometimes it feels like she's slipping away and of course she moved so it's expected. Sometimes it just feels like my online friends are more there for me. probably because i talk to them everyday haha.
the other day i was laying in bed with my mom and just talking; some thing we often do not do because everyone ends in an argument. Well, she try to put ideas into my head about a certain some one and i don't really want to go back to that place where i'm pining over him again. So, i don't know, it's just weird. He's just my best friend and everything seems like they're going good.

I'm kinda really heavy hearted because rusty is getting really old. i love my dog and he is just that kinda loveable big lug that only wants to cuddle, lucky isn't like that. But watching rusty slow down with age is depressing and it makes me realize that i love him a lot more than i thought i did, it's just so heart breaking. i think i'm just gonna go downstairs and give him a long hug.

have you ever really just danced on the edge? just hold my hand and jump.

i'm done.

i'm done with trying to talk to everyone. what's the point in putting in the effort when i get ditched or just have a measly conversation. i'm done dealing with this one way fucking street bull shit because i can't even talk to anyone. i want to move.

really i can feel the pressure.

i really feel like the song pressure by paramore, except that everyone is better off with out me.

hide

i've always hid behind other's problems thinking that if i could help them, mine would disappear. Lately, I haven't been able to do that therefore there has been a lot of mental confrontation. It just feels like a never ending cycle, picking out my flaws and how they can be resolved. True, everyone is not perfect and i understand that. It just feels like if i solve them, i can be a better person and be at peace with myself.

note to self:

Don't loose hope in yourself.
No one says can bring you down, so, stand tall.
Believe that your dreams will come true.
Stay positive.
and remember to finish stories you start.

Hope Embraced Soundtrack

If only i did have a soundtrack for this.

1. Picture perfect by every avenue
2. Sputter by The Academy Is…
3. Days Like Masquerades by The Academy Is…
4. We’ve got a big mess on our hands by The Academy Is…
5. The phrase that pays by The Academy Is…
6. Miracle by Paramore
7. Turn it off by Paramore
8. Let the flames begin by Paramore
9. Go by My Favorite Highway
10. What are you waiting for? by My Favorite Highway
11. Simple life by My Favorite Highway
12. Carry on by Valencia
13. Head in Hands by Valencia
14. Free by Valencia
15. Can’t see myself (falling asleep tonight) by Valencia
16. Just another Marionette by Emarosa
17. The Resolution by Jack’s Mannequin

if only i could have my own personal concert...

my set list would be: jonny craig/Dance Gavin Dance/Emarosa.
then, My Favorite Highway
followed by, Paramore
also, Lady Gaga
plus, Fall Out Boy
and then, Valencia
and den, This Century
to Finnish it off, THE ACADEMY IS...

is it wrong to say i fantasize about meeting billbecks all the time? i just want to sit down and talk about writing with him. OMG. and if NSYNC was willing to reunite, they'd be on my list fo sho.

so anyways this is just a random thing i had on my mind that i had to put somewhere, it isnt my usual thoughtful writing. oh well. so if anyone, please, anyone wants to throw me a concert that's be dandy ("