Oh, to be a sore loser.
Look out to the crowd, you see a million people,
Double that.
Heart racing, just like you know it would,
Ba boom ba boom ba boom.
And you know you’re going to be first,
your predictions on who’s going to win is dead on, kinda.
You stand in front of the people,
Nerves got the best of you.
You see a crinkle at your paper and you want to smooth it over.
It’s time to speak.
“His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready
To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgetting
What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud
He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out
He's choking how, everybody's joking now
The clock's run out, time's up over, bloah!
Snap back to reality, oh there goes gravity
Oh, there goes Rabbit, he choked
He's so mad, but he won't give up that
Easy, no”
This whole rap goes through your head like a bullet.
You choke on your first letter,
Coughing out each word after word
And by the time you know it,
you had a coughing fit that was you whole poem
yaknow, the next one isn’t so bad either.
And you think it’s going to be alright,
But then, SMACK!
What the hell was that?
I messed up. Shit.
But you go on because that’s all you know what you have to do,
So you stand there, done.
The host says “Well, michelle, you did a remarkable job, how do you think you did?”
I want to say,
I did a horrible job and run of stage in a fit of tears.
I look over with a shy smile and say I was nervous, but I did alright.
And that when I hear it,
When words pierce my ears,
Not like a piercing gun,
But an arrow that tunnels through the canals
And stops my world.
“Wow, she sucked.”
I can’t hear what the judges say,
The tears a fighting against me and I smile graciously and take a seat.
First is the worst second is the best,
And it’s true,
He rocked that stage,
But, before he did that,
He rubbed my back telling me that ,
That person probably didn’t know what poetry was.
Those poems came from my heart,
And I guess that’s what hurts more.
I tried to pay attention,
His voice resonating in my ears,
But all I hear is you suck,
You suck, you suck, you suck.
And coming from me,
all the things that I went through,
and all the things that I somehow managed to gain back,
my confidence was pulled out infront of me,
so, I want to apologize to him, saying that he was the best,
and that girl, that petty girl
thank you for being my first critic,
thank you for unintentionally telling me that I have more work for improvement.
I am a writer, and writing will grow and flourish,
And there will be critics,
And you my first critic,
While I sat there on stage, trying not to cry,
I thank you.
